Beloved and Blessed: Biblical Wisdom for the Family Life (Life-Giving Love) by Kimberly Hahn

Author:Kimberly Hahn [Hahn, Kimberly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Anthony Messenger Press, Servant Books
Published: 2011-08-28T16:00:00+00:00

Models of Parenting

Models of parenting vary based on the demands of discipline and the demonstration of love. We will briefly look at the following models: authoritarian, permissive, neglectful, and authoritative.

The authoritarian parent does not express much warmth or encouragement. He or she emphasizes discipline with a high degree of control. This parent maintains high control as the child matures. At first a child complies. Eventually the child expresses anger either in a passive-aggressive mode—the only safe way to cause trouble—or in outright rebellion. This child tends to have low self-esteem.

The permissive parent expresses much love but little discipline. This parent hesitates to restrict the child; the child is in control. Though the child feels loved, he or she does not sense that the parent cares enough to guide him. “He who spoils his son will bind up his wounds, and his feelings will be troubled at every cry…. A son unrestrained turns out to be willful” (Sirach 30:7, 8b). When the child gets older, the parent may try to tighten the rules. Usually the result is great frustration: The rules have changed, and the child resists restrictions. This child is vulnerable to peer pressure.

The neglectful parent offers little love or discipline. The child longs for both and feels anger from broken promises and neglect. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). This child’s low self-esteem makes him vulnerable to identifying with a counterculture, at risk to himself and others.

The authoritative parent leads with lots of love and affection and lots of discipline. The parent exercises authority with rules that vary depending on the child’s age and maturity. The child learns to respond well to authority and to hold his own with peers. Overall this child understands parental boundaries and values the relationship between greater freedoms and greater responsibilities. This leads to a positive self-image for the child.

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